School started last Monday. Our daughter is now a senior at Grand Junction High School. The reality that Deb and I will be empty nesters in a year is starting to set in and I’m not sure I like it. We have had kids in our house since 1982. Granted we had two kids 15 years apart so many of you think we have basically had one kid in our house for a combined 32 years, but that’s not the case.
You see, we have also been the “house of choice,” so most days we have had more than one kid in our house. When Jason was a boy our neighbor’s twin boys practically lived at our house, which was a wonderful long term blessing. Today they are 35 years old and still consider Deb and I their second parents. We’ve been participants in their weddings, baby showers, adoption parties, Christmas, whatever. During his teenage years we continued to be the house of choice. I can remember waking up in the mornings, looking out the front window to see what friends car was parked in front of our house, so I would know how much breakfast to make. It also had its disadvantages (being the house of choice). One night I woke up and noticed the light downstairs was still on but I wasn’t hearing any noise, so I wandered down, wearing only my boxer shorts, and walked right into the middle of a roomful of teenagers (girls and boys) quietly staring at me. I recall rubbing my sleepy eyes, muttering, “Oh, excuse me” and going back upstairs.
It’s been virtually the same with Kayla and her friends except more so because she is much more “social” than Jason was. We’ve set out an “extra” plate on many occasions for her friends. It’s not unusual to come home and have four or five teen-agers hanging out in the TV room glued to some Netflix show, filling the sofa with crumbs of chips and cookies or whatever else they could pilfer from the kitchen.
So, there is one more year of all that activity and spontaneity. What happens when we drop her off at her college dorm and drive home alone? What do we fill the emptiness with? Oh, there is plenty to do. Work, Kids Aid, and church. We also have things that we love doing together like hiking, music and movies, but it’s not the same. Where will the noise be when we return home? The bathroom won’t be cluttered with make-up and assorted other female items. There will be another unoccupied bedroom.
Parenting is a series of steps and experiences you go through to prepare your kids for independence and little by little we let them fly, testing that readiness for life. Kids hear the road calling over the exhortations of our love and becoming empty nesters is inevitable. It’s a hard chapter to close.
Mike Berry is a Registered Representative offering securities through Cambridge Investment Research, Inc., a Broker/Dealer, Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment Advisor Representative, Cambridge Investment Research Advisors, Inc., a Registered Investment Advisor. Legacy Wealth Management, LLC and Cambridge are not affiliated. Cambridge does not offer tax advice.
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